Lamb Skin

Thank you little lamb,
For this life you didn’t live,
past the point of becoming a
processed decoration for
someone’s purchase—my purchase.

And now, at this single moment, and
as many as I choose to follow, while I
am alive, perhaps,
A scrap of your slaughter rests
gracefully atop  the backrest of
my sofa now, bringing me
adequate satisfaction.

Your hide was affordable.  The price point
was based on costs and market-accepting
profit margins. I slid a piece of plastic through
a slot (a point-of-purchase device, a
merchant terminal) and your fuzzy skin was mine.

The transaction said nothing about how you
lived, how you died, or how you felt when
your demise came about. Did it hurt? I am sure it
did for the moments your blood drained you to
a cold hollow death.

And what of your mommy?
Did she feel sad you were gone? Surely she did.

I thought not about your life too much when I
slid my card with its magnetic strip past the
insensitive sensor that transfers money from
my earnings into the bank account of a corporation
that pays employees, bigwigs, investors and vendors.
Come to think of it, your pelt was not the only item
in my shopping cart that day. I don’t recall what else I bought.
I was just buying stuff for the home at Ikea. I like it there.
They set it up for people to like it there. They even have a
restaurant to feed grouchy husbands and groaning children.

I didn’t know you or even conceive that
I was selfish about owning a part of you when paid.
I just picked your hide from a bin of hides, tossed it in my
cart and looked for the shortest checkout line.

You were to become a decoration for my living room.
That is why I wanted you or a part of you that is.

It’s good Ikea doesn’t carry human skin lampshades.
I like that about Ikea in retrospect. I probably wouldn’t
shop there if they sold human scalp decor. Of course I wouldn’t.
That would have grave moral implications.

Strange how a part of your death
now resides in my living room which is the
room where I do so much of my living.
It’s a comfortable and tidy room, accept when the kids
leave their toys strewn about. That sometimes
irritates me. Finding the remote is a frequent problem too.
It also irritates me, only slightly, when your skin falls back
behind the sofa cushion. I wish that wouldn’t happen.
It’s a minor first-world annoyance.
I think I will stop being annoyed by that.
I’ll consider your life when I readjust your hide
to it’s ‘rightful’ position atop the sofa cushion again.
I’d like to think I was honoring you, by not being annoyed
to have to do that, but it would really be a pathetic
first-world ‘honoring’ ceremony and more about
minimizing the minimal guilt I feel. Do I feel any? Not sure.
I am trying to feel something more about you now, but in
honesty, I am not sure I feel anything other than the
recognition of irony.

I should feel more. Somehow everything about you still
feels like a commodity, though.
You were merchandise upon your conception even though
what I am pointing at is well beyond the range of
your conception. What did you conceive? Anything? Nothing?

In truth, I bought your skin to take around the world with me
on my motorbike. You were intended to sit atop my saddle
and make it more accommodating. I consciously remembered
that when I started writing this piece.

But for some reason, because you are just an ornament
now, I decided to write as though that was your intended purpose.
You aren’t even being used for my intended purpose.
Your skin is not that important of a belonging to me.
You aren’t that much of a decoration.

I wonder if there are other remains of you elsewhere in the world.
I imagine other people ate parts of you and passed you through their digestive systems.

I almost bought lamb chops the other day. I chose steak instead.

Soulful

Today I have decided to practice a new way to love. I have tried loving with my heart, but my heart has misled me from the start.

Today I will practice loving with my soul. The heart can tag along, but the leash to the heart will run aft. Come along heart, let’s explore some more.

Honesty

Without honesty there is no foundation for a lasting or enjoyable relationship in any context, whether that be with a family member, friend or romantic interest. Honesty is a voice for love that builds trust. Without it, even ‘I love you’ becomes a lie in itself and there’s no real security in the relationship…..Being honest improves the relationship and saves us from having to live a lie. Lies rarely come on their own: one will usually be needed to cover another until it spirals out of control. This becomes complicated for the one who started it and confusing for the one receiving it. More than that, living a lie is hard work. It means not being yourself or enjoying relationships, and that is not comfortable for anyone.

–from Trudy Adams

Without honesty the trust isn’t genuine:
Trust is very essential in a relationship, it’s one of the core ingredients that keeps a relationship, but if there’s no honesty the trust can’t be genuine.  Without honesty you can have blind trust.  You trust someone based on what you know, but what you know can be false.  Many people are in relationships where they trust each other, but one of them isn’t “keeping it real”, so they have their partner believing a bunch of lies and trusting in nothing but lies…..

….Honesty is a necessity, trust is the life of the relationship, but honesty is every breath of it.  You can have honesty without trust, but trust without honesty is deadly, it’s misleading.  Trust may open the door for honesty but honesty will always room for trust…genuine trust.

–from Gentlemenhood.com

Truth is difficult for many of us. We all engage in a bit of self-deception in our lives. There are things about ourselves that we have not been able to examine or accept. We have difficulty in admitting our flaws – even to ourselves, much more so to our partners. Sometimes we guard our intimate feelings because we have been hurt in the past when we tried to share them with others, so that trust is a difficult area for us. For example, if you and your partner are feeling unloved and lonely, but you try to cover it up by saying that everything is fine, you will continue to feel isolated. Our commitment to a relationship means that we have decided to open ourselves up to another person, flaws and all. To continue to deceive ourselves with our partner impedes the intimacy of the relationship.

A relationship has the potential to provide a healthy way to come to terms with our issues, both personal and interpersonal. Accepting the truth, and talking about it, can free us of pain and set the stage for a healthier future. When we share our fears within the context of our partner’s loving understanding and acceptance, the fears dissipate. The issues we have been holding on to alone for so long lose their force when they are shared with someone who loves us. Telling the truth can bring down the barriers that isolate us from our partners. It can lead to a new level of self-acceptance and authenticity in our own lives – and this in turn leads to a stronger level of commitment and intimacy in our relationship. The truth can make us whole and set us free.

–from LifeEsteem.org

Having integrity and being honest are fundamental requirements if you want to grow spiritually and follow your true destination of personal development. It’s not simply about being honest with people. Whilst that will make you a better person and a more accepted one it’s more importantly about being honest with yourself…..If we’re honest in all that we do and say, it means we are genuine, real and true whereas dishonesty symbolises all that is fake, fictitious and unreal. Living your life honestly and with integrity means that you’ve decided to live openly and to show your true self to others and that you can be relied upon to be genuine. On the other hand, dishonesty is all about shade and concealment and living your life in ‘dark corners’. When you’re dishonest, it means that you remain living in the dark and cannot grow spiritually……Trust in turn produces confidence which we all need to conquer life’s problems and which also encourages us to take risks in order to fulfil our goals.

You’ll have no doubt heard expressions such as “what goes around, comes around” and “you get back, what you give out in life” and that’s very true. If we don’t live our lives honestly, we become shrouded in mystery.

However, if you truly respect yourself, you’ll often find yourself reflecting later and feeling bad about yourself because your gains were obtained through dishonest means. Therefore, you find that they were not really gains at all as they were obtained dishonestly and you may find your ‘inner self’ starting to beat you over the head over your indiscretion. So, were they really gains you made at all? The answer is ‘no.’

–from Life Coach Expert

I believe in order to receive the true love of another, you must be honest with that person. If you are not, it means that you never receive their honest and true love. It passes by you and forms around some projection of you and some idea of who they think you are. In the end, this serves to undermine your relationship, undermine your friendship, and undermine yourself.

If you are dishonest or not forthcoming, the other person may love the parts of you that are real, but they will not love the complete you. This robs your soul and makes you feel like the real you is bad or ugly. This is partly why it is essential you are honest with people.

I believe honesty is the most essential ingredient to being a real person. Even little lies can get a person into trouble. If you lie about little things, then you are probably ready to lie about big things as well. Others will think it, and you will wonder if they think it.

If you are totally honest, when you tell that person that you love him or her, it will be believed. If you are dishonest, then that person will question whether your love is true or not. This is true for romantic relationships as well as important friendships.

Finally, revealing your true self will set you free from fear. When you tell the good, the bad and the ugly, you become real. You become real in the eyes of others and you become real in your own eyes as well. If others can accept you for who you really are, then you know you are with people who truly care about you–the real you. When you are free to be yourself, you live a fuller life. If others don’t accept you for who you are, then that’s too bad, but at least you were not pretending to be someone you are not. You did not live a lie, but you lived and honest life and you were a real person.

Lullaby

by W. H. Auden

Lay Your Sleeping head, my love,

Human on my faithless arm:

Time and fevers burn away

Individual beauty from

Thoughtful children, and the grave

Proves the child ephemeral:

But in my arms till break of day

Let the living creature lie,

Mortal, guilty, but to me

The entirely beautiful.
Soul and body have no bounds:

To lovers as they lie upon

Her tolerant enchanted slope

In their ordinary swoon,

Grave the vision Venus sends

Of supernatural sympathy,

Universal love and hope;

While an abstract insight wakes

Among the glaciers and the rocks

The hermit’s carnal ecstasy,
Certainty, fidelity

On the stroke of midnight pass

Like vibrations of a bell

And fashionable madmen raise

Their pedantic boring cry:

Every farthing of the cost.

All the dreaded cards foretell.

Shall be paid, but from this night

Not a whisper, not a thought.

Not a kiss nor look be lost.
Beauty, midnight, vision dies:

Let the winds of dawn that blow

Softly round your dreaming head

Such a day of welcome show

Eye and knocking heart may bless,

Find our mortal world enough;

Noons of dryness find you fed

By the involuntary powers,

Nights of insult let you pass

Watched by every human love.

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